You’re just the torch to put the flame to all our guilt and shame [entries|friends|calendar] english muffin* and i will never grow so old again [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

SO [ ] Wednesday! 1.17.07, 4:57am ] [ mood | monopolyiizzeeeddd ] I FUCKING LOVE DOTTY SO MUCH ALL THE TIME ALL THE TIME AND SHES TALKING TO ME ABOUT BABIEZ WITH RABIEZ IN A WHISPER ON HER CELL PHONE THAT MAKES A SOUND LIKE THIS: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I FUCKING LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT AND HERE AND MY LIFE COULDNT BE BETTER thankyou and GOODNIGHT TO YOU but not me..i keep talkin to muh babiezzzzzzzzzzz wif rabiez....dotty keeps talking hahaahahahahahahahahahahah OH GOD i love life. she gets cuter and cuter and i want to smoosh and sqeeze her...and have phone sex BECAUSE THAT IS SUCH A COOL THING TO DO APPARENTLY AND NOT AWKWARD AT ALL "hey baby..you uhh..feeling hotz tanite in muh panties....i mean your pantie..zz..i mean...vagina" 3 tofu / stirfry

[ ] Friday! 12.2.05, 5:13am ] [ music | Jets To Brazil: "All Things Good And Nice" ] i miss a lot of things right now. friends i had. the person i was. when i used to just not care and would just have a good time. when i would not care about the way i dressed. when i would go walking for miles listining to jamiroquai, looking for interesting tree bark on the ground to take back home with me. i would have so much fun. i was always doing things, writing, reading, drawing, or just thinking. always thinking. and i had the best friends in the world. then i met a girl. a very special girl someone i learned so much from. she introduced me to so much to all this music, to the world to ridding the bus and train for the first time. to going to shows. she brought me everything i could ever dream of. she set me free from so much she really helped me find myself she gave me the best memories of my life. but it was all just a flicker of time, tings happend, and though we kept in contact it had all changed. i became more involved with everything i used to stand against. i started to become everything i hated. the very thing i thought was a joke i started to take seriously. and the more and more i tryed to be this person i wasn't, the more it ate my life away. it's been two years sice i changed, and only now do i see what she was trying to tell me. i tryed blaming it on her without realising that it was my decisions and choices that had led me to who i am now. but since i've been away from it all isolated and awake i am forced to confront the truth everyday. i have no other choice but to see who i've become and i can't hide it from myself anymore. saying sorry just isnt enough though i wish it was. i have lost so much because i had lost apart of myself and now i have no other choice but start again. i was just trying to deny the truth, to prove to people that i was somebody else. but to her most of all. i was only fooling myself. i couldn't think straight it's as if i was in a coma for the past year. i just need to go for a walk and listen to some jets to brazil. i know i can't go back i know that this time i really can't there is nothing worse than the feeling of having to let go of a dream of the hope you've kept so close for so long waiting for that one chance only to find it already passed you by

oh you know [ ] Saturday! 11.26.05, 5:07pm ] [ mood | oh you know ] [ music | Architecture in Helsinki: "Like a Call" ] my thanksgiving dinner was really good. even though i am english and it makes no sense for me to be celebrating such a silly holliday. i'm just glad we didn't eat tofurkey. it is really cold. people think that winter on the east coast is like what they see in movies fun, jolly, christmasyeyeyyyyy you know like, "lets go sleding!" but that would be WRONG. VERY WRONG. it is so cold that i poop out iceicles.. is that how you spell iceicles? anyway. it is that cold 4 tofu / stirfry

so nice [ ] Friday! 11.11.05, 2:09pm ] [ mood | okay ] [ music | blur: "You're So Great" ] ( beautiful day in ohio ) 7 tofu / stirfry

[ ] Thursday! 11.10.05, 2:46pm ] im sick of holding on to what was and you should allow change to happen stop living in the past i may not look how you want but i am still the same damn person. you have changed just as much as i have you know but you dont you have no damn clue. the fact that you think i have changed simply because i have become more of what you have always been is sad infact honestly i don't even know why i should be writing this you have broken so many hearts and you think i have a problem you play with people all the time, even if you don't realise it but i think you do you just don't know what you want and the only part of me you want are the memories and the past because you can't be botherd to just give me a call and start a new. to find out who i really am, who i've always been. its sad it is so sad 4 tofu / stirfry

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